More Christmas Eve!

Christmas Eve with Margot!

Margot got all dressed up in her Cheongsam for Christmas Eve.  We had hoped she would be able to wear the dress for Chinese New Years, but it's already a little tight on her!  I blame all that peanut butter that she loves to eat!

Margot with Grammy Judy!

Fish Lips!

Happy Holidays!

Bottle Time!

Margot at 17 months

Why hello blog, how are you?  Have you missed me?  

Of course, I've been meaning to post, I just can't believe how busy Miss Margot keeps us!  

Today she turns 17 months old.  It's amazing how fast the last 3 months have passed.  

It seems like she's been with us much longer than that!  She has really changed so much during that time.

First of all she's started gaining more weight and is now just past 22 pounds.  Her cheeks are getting so cute and chunky!  She is much more active and playful, especially with her toys.  She loves to grab things and throw them as far as she can.  She is starting to scoot around more and reach for toys that she wants and Chris witnessed some major crawling last night.  It's hard being back at work, I always feel like I'm missing something new!   

Her latest trick, sitting while holding one foot in the air!

I finally trimmed her bangs, they're sort of straight!

Margot is 16 months today!

Margot decides that my tongue is funny!

The Lucky One

Wow, how has it been 3 weeks since I last posted?  Margot is the great big stealer of time for us! 

I've been wanting to post these videos from our last few days in China.  Margot has taken quite a while to decide that she is okay with bath time, so we weren't sure how she would feel about pool time.  Apparently, she likes it!  It helped that a lot of other children were playing around her, she loves seeing other kids!

I've been going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to talk about the whole "lucky baby" thing with adoption.  A lot of people in the community get very upset when their children are told they are "lucky" and I can certainly see why.  Yes, I think they are fortunate that they are no longer living in an orphanage but it's hard for me to call someone who has lost their birth family, country and culture, "lucky".  I usually tell people when offered this comment that "no, we are the lucky ones" and I truly believe it.  We spent a great deal of time and effort in preparing and making this adoption happen and we are so lucky to have been matched with a child that we feel is such a perfect fit for our family.  As for Margot, I hope someday when she understands her situation she feels lucky to have been matched with us, but for now we are the lucky ones!

Happier times!

As much as visiting Margot's city and orphanage was emotionally draining, our time in China was really amazing.  Getting to know her and her personality is still a joy every day!  She is quite literally our dream come true.

These are videos from Sunday, September 18th.  We had a free day and decided to venture out on our own to a buddhist temple close to the hotel.  It was really interesting and I got a ton of photos, but have had no time to edit through them yet.  The weather was sooooo hot that we only stayed out about an hour and Margot got a little crabby from the heat.  This is after we got back - note Margot's elephant tunic!

Margot's Finding Spot

After visiting the orphanage, we wanted to visit Margot's finding spot.  We got back in the van only to drive about half a block to the back entrance of Bei Shan Park.  I knew it was close by but had no idea it would be that close!  We have to wonder if her birth parents chose this spot based on how close to the orphanage it was or if they only chose it hoping their daughter would be discovered quickly.  Margot was believed to be 2 days old when when she was found, her birthday was based on the state of her umbilical cord at the time. 

China's one child policy is still in place, you are not allowed to give up a child for adoption and it is illegal to abandon your child.  Parents that abandon a child will usually place them in a spot where they will be discovered almost immediately.  If you are interested in reading more, these are a good couple of links to check out.   

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/ft/2011/08/lost_and_found.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy

Chris & Margot waiting for our driver Mr. Li to pick us up from the orphanage entrance.

Entrance to Bei Shan Park, where Margot was found.  

Wenxi, Chris and Margot waiting for me at the van.

Orphanage Visit

Outside of the grocery store, buying formula for the orphanage.  

There is a reason it has taken me so long to write this post, I knew it would be hard. Chris and I had hoped to visit Margot's orphanage if they would let us. We wanted to see for ourselves where her whole life had taken place up until us and meet the women that had cared for her. We were also hoping to visit her finding spot as well. I had already seen many photos of her orphanage and some videos as well from other families that had adopted through the same SWI (Social Welfare Institute), so I kind of knew what to expect, but it wasn't the same as experiencing it in person. The drive in went well and Margot didn't cry too much for such a long ride. We were on a very busy street in Yangjiang, when we turned up a narrow lane and I knew immediately that we were getting close. 

The front gate.

The view across the alleyway.

View from the 4th floor.  I have seen photos of this gazebo before and there is never anyone using it.  I'm assuming it's for the senior citizens, I don't think the children are ever taken outside.

 If you didn't know this place existed, you would have no idea her orphanage was back there. But, first of all it's not just an orphanage, SWI's can have people of all age and hers did. The first floor was home to some senior citizens and I saw 2 gentleman on that floor. The next floor housed the older more special needs kids, with the children Margot's age on the 3^rd floor and the youngest children on the 4^th. We were only allowed to view Margot's floor and even though I knew her world was small, it was still hard to witness it. Her floor included the director's office, a lounge type room for the nannies (or Ayi – which means Aunt in Chinese) and a large room filled with cribs and children. Off of that room there was what looked like a room for diaper changing and feeding. There was another area off of that, that we were not shown. We were allowed to view her crib and and stand in front of it for photos, and of course, what do you do but smile, it's a photo, but at the same time I was trying to take in everything as quickly as I could as I knew we would not be allowed to stay long. 

 The whole room was tile, with metal cribs lining it that were tied to together to form aisles. The cribs had wooden bottoms, no mattresses and the children appeared to all have one blanket and maybe a toy. The newest thing in the whole place was a flat screen tv mounted to the wall that seemed to be the only entertainment for the children. There were a few baby walkers in the corner and one child laying on the floor “playing”. The rest of the children were either sleeping, laying in their cribs or watching us. It was supposedly nap time, but I don't think the tv was ever turned off. I quickly counted 36 children in this room, with only a few empty cribs.

One of our guides had warned us about not letting the nannies hold Margot, so we decided that Chris should have her in the baby carrier the entire time. I figured they wouldn't mess with him and try and get her away from him. One of the nannies did however ask if they could give her some tea and we decided that would be all right, but it did require them holding her. We didn't now know it would be a whole production with them spooning it down her throat. 

 She got upset, but bounced back pretty quickly and never really seemed to upset to be there or to leave – the tea however helped with her constipation problems! 

Hopefully the reason Margot wasn't scared of Chris.  The director is a guy with glasses!

 We briefly met the director of the orphanage, I believe Mr. Tam was his name but he was sick and had lost his voice. We really didn't chat much with nannies other than to give them the cans of formula we brought as a donation. While we were there a Chinese couple came in and we found out that they were there for a domestic adoption. I had heard that domestic adoption was up in China, but it was really great to see it firsthand. The nannies told us that all of the children on Margot's floor would be adopted out, which I hope to be true. As we were leaving we passed the 2^nd floor and saw an older girl of about 8 or 9 staring vacantly out of the window. She didn't even respond to us as we passed and it broke my heart to think of the older children there that might never find families. Honestly, I have such mixed feelings about the first 14 months of Margot's life there. On the one hand it seemed very small, old and rundown, on the other, the nannies seemed nice and generally happy to see Margot and care about her. One of them even told her “Mei Mei, you have new clothes!”

It's hard to gage exactly what the people of China know about adoption and abandoned children. One of the families in our group told us of a college student from China who is studying in the U.S. right now who told them “There are no orphanages in Beijing.” Well our guide informed us that there are 3 orphanages in Beijing, all with about 1000 children in them a piece. A lot of younger women seemed really interested in Margot and would smile at her and ask how old she was, but some of the older women would give us very stern and unhappy looks when they saw us with her. Our guide also told us that she thinks only about a third of the population of Guangzhou even know about foreign adoption, so that might explain it. To be continued...

The Road to Yangjiang

Sorry for the delay!  We made it home safely last Wednesday, but boy was that a painful trip.  Margot is really fighting the time change and making it difficult for either of us to get any sleep.  Chris went back to work this week, so I am on nighttime baby duty.  She was sleeping like a champ in China, so I hope we can get back to that soon!

In the meantime, here is a peek at the start of our journey to Margot's orphanage.  We went on Friday and it was a 6 hour round trip car ride.  Our guide went with us and we had to pay Mr. Li our driver $2000 Yuan to take us (a little more than $300).  The traffic in China is crazy - well let me rephrase that - the drivers are crazy in China.  It's not that they drive that fast, it's that they are constantly jockeying for the best lane to be in and will cut back and forth without even looking.  I don't know how there aren't more accidents, but we really only saw a few fender benders.  It drove Chris crazy, but reminded me of NYC taxi drivers and I kind of enjoyed it.  I thought for sure we were gonna hit a few cars though!

Someone's tired!

Saw a lot of these flowering plants on the side of the road.  Very tropical in this part of the country and even hotter than Guangzhou!

Entering Yangjiang.  It's considered a small city of only 3 million!

White Swan Photos

Oh yeah, this is what we did on Thursday!  We dropped of our laundry on Shamian Island.  Normally a lot of adopting families stay on the island at the White Swan Hotel.  Unfortunately the hotel is closed for remodeling, but the restaurants and lobby are still open.  All of the families that travel together usually get photos taken on one of the many red couches there.  Our guide Wenxi brought us and got a few photos before the rest of our travel group arrived in Guangzhou.  All of the families were adopting children from different provinces, so after touring Beijing we all went our separate ways.  Guangzhou is the capital of Guangdong Province which is the province our girl is from so we got to come here before everyone else.  Guangzhou is also where the US Consulate is, so all adopting families must come here to finalize paperwork.  

Cutest baby face ever!!!!!!

More Videos

Thursday we applied for Margot's passport.  I have no idea what else we did that day!  I know we got ready for Friday, which was our big trip to her orphanage.  

Day 2 with Margot Songmei

Coming back from our 2nd visit to the Civil Affairs Office.  We had a family photo taken with many tears since we had to pull her thumb out of her mouth for it!  After that, 2 short interviews asking why we wanted to adopt her and promising to never abuse and abandon her.  

It's hard to imagine why anyone could have ever abandoned her.  The Chinese families that you see here with their children clearly love and adore them.  It breaks my heart to think of the parents that were probably forced make the decision to abandon her.  I already love her so much, I can't imagine what they must have gone through. 

 

Watching soccer later on in the hotel room brought out the first real glimpse of her personality.  Watch her open her mouth really wide, she loves to do that in front of mirrors!  When she gets overwhelmed she stares intently at her fingers or her toes and crosses them in unusual ways.  

More Gotcha Day!

Here are few more pics from Gotcha Day.  I don't know where the time goes in China, but I've had the worst time trying to keep up with the blog.  We have had appointments everyday and have usually been in bed by 9pm and up by 6am or 7am!  These photos don't do justice to the cuteness that is Margot.  Obviously, she is a thumb sucker but she also has this thing where she likes to touch fabric.  If you know me, you know that she is supposed to be my kid!  Unfortunately she doesn't like the bathtub yet, but I will be working on that one!  She is slowly opening up to us, but still has a way to go.  She doesn't cry as much but is still very quiet and likes to sleep a lot.  We can't wait to get her home!