Outside of the grocery store, buying formula for the orphanage.
There is a reason it has taken me so long to write this post, I knew it would be hard. Chris and I had hoped to visit Margot's orphanage if they would let us. We wanted to see for ourselves where her whole life had taken place up until us and meet the women that had cared for her. We were also hoping to visit her finding spot as well. I had already seen many photos of her orphanage and some videos as well from other families that had adopted through the same SWI (Social Welfare Institute), so I kind of knew what to expect, but it wasn't the same as experiencing it in person. The drive in went well and Margot didn't cry too much for such a long ride. We were on a very busy street in Yangjiang, when we turned up a narrow lane and I knew immediately that we were getting close.
The front gate.
The view across the alleyway.
View from the 4th floor. I have seen photos of this gazebo before and there is never anyone using it. I'm assuming it's for the senior citizens, I don't think the children are ever taken outside.
If you didn't know this place existed, you would have no idea her orphanage was back there. But, first of all it's not just an orphanage, SWI's can have people of all age and hers did. The first floor was home to some senior citizens and I saw 2 gentleman on that floor. The next floor housed the older more special needs kids, with the children Margot's age on the 3rd floor and the youngest children on the 4th. We were only allowed to view Margot's floor and even though I knew her world was small, it was still hard to witness it. Her floor included the director's office, a lounge type room for the nannies (or Ayi – which means Aunt in Chinese) and a large room filled with cribs and children. Off of that room there was what looked like a room for diaper changing and feeding. There was another area off of that, that we were not shown. We were allowed to view her crib and and stand in front of it for photos, and of course, what do you do but smile, it's a photo, but at the same time I was trying to take in everything as quickly as I could as I knew we would not be allowed to stay long.
The whole room was tile, with metal cribs lining it that were tied to together to form aisles. The cribs had wooden bottoms, no mattresses and the children appeared to all have one blanket and maybe a toy. The newest thing in the whole place was a flat screen tv mounted to the wall that seemed to be the only entertainment for the children. There were a few baby walkers in the corner and one child laying on the floor “playing”. The rest of the children were either sleeping, laying in their cribs or watching us. It was supposedly nap time, but I don't think the tv was ever turned off. I quickly counted 36 children in this room, with only a few empty cribs.
One of our guides had warned us about not letting the nannies hold Margot, so we decided that Chris should have her in the baby carrier the entire time. I figured they wouldn't mess with him and try and get her away from him. One of the nannies did however ask if they could give her some tea and we decided that would be all right, but it did require them holding her. We didn't now know it would be a whole production with them spooning it down her throat.
She got upset, but bounced back pretty quickly and never really seemed to upset to be there or to leave – the tea however helped with her constipation problems!
Hopefully the reason Margot wasn't scared of Chris. The director is a guy with glasses!
We briefly met the director of the orphanage, I believe Mr. Tam was his name but he was sick and had lost his voice. We really didn't chat much with nannies other than to give them the cans of formula we brought as a donation. While we were there a Chinese couple came in and we found out that they were there for a domestic adoption. I had heard that domestic adoption was up in China, but it was really great to see it firsthand. The nannies told us that all of the children on Margot's floor would be adopted out, which I hope to be true. As we were leaving we passed the 2nd floor and saw an older girl of about 8 or 9 staring vacantly out of the window. She didn't even respond to us as we passed and it broke my heart to think of the older children there that might never find families. Honestly, I have such mixed feelings about the first 14 months of Margot's life there. On the one hand it seemed very small, old and rundown, on the other, the nannies seemed nice and generally happy to see Margot and care about her. One of them even told her “Mei Mei, you have new clothes!”
It's hard to gage exactly what the people of China know about adoption and abandoned children. One of the families in our group told us of a college student from China who is studying in the U.S. right now who told them “There are no orphanages in Beijing.” Well our guide informed us that there are 3 orphanages in Beijing, all with about 1000 children in them a piece. A lot of younger women seemed really interested in Margot and would smile at her and ask how old she was, but some of the older women would give us very stern and unhappy looks when they saw us with her. Our guide also told us that she thinks only about a third of the population of Guangzhou even know about foreign adoption, so that might explain it. To be continued...
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