Orphanage Visit

Outside of the grocery store, buying formula for the orphanage.  

There is a reason it has taken me so long to write this post, I knew it would be hard. Chris and I had hoped to visit Margot's orphanage if they would let us. We wanted to see for ourselves where her whole life had taken place up until us and meet the women that had cared for her. We were also hoping to visit her finding spot as well. I had already seen many photos of her orphanage and some videos as well from other families that had adopted through the same SWI (Social Welfare Institute), so I kind of knew what to expect, but it wasn't the same as experiencing it in person. The drive in went well and Margot didn't cry too much for such a long ride. We were on a very busy street in Yangjiang, when we turned up a narrow lane and I knew immediately that we were getting close. 

The front gate.

The view across the alleyway.

View from the 4th floor.  I have seen photos of this gazebo before and there is never anyone using it.  I'm assuming it's for the senior citizens, I don't think the children are ever taken outside.

 If you didn't know this place existed, you would have no idea her orphanage was back there. But, first of all it's not just an orphanage, SWI's can have people of all age and hers did. The first floor was home to some senior citizens and I saw 2 gentleman on that floor. The next floor housed the older more special needs kids, with the children Margot's age on the 3^rd floor and the youngest children on the 4^th. We were only allowed to view Margot's floor and even though I knew her world was small, it was still hard to witness it. Her floor included the director's office, a lounge type room for the nannies (or Ayi – which means Aunt in Chinese) and a large room filled with cribs and children. Off of that room there was what looked like a room for diaper changing and feeding. There was another area off of that, that we were not shown. We were allowed to view her crib and and stand in front of it for photos, and of course, what do you do but smile, it's a photo, but at the same time I was trying to take in everything as quickly as I could as I knew we would not be allowed to stay long. 

 The whole room was tile, with metal cribs lining it that were tied to together to form aisles. The cribs had wooden bottoms, no mattresses and the children appeared to all have one blanket and maybe a toy. The newest thing in the whole place was a flat screen tv mounted to the wall that seemed to be the only entertainment for the children. There were a few baby walkers in the corner and one child laying on the floor “playing”. The rest of the children were either sleeping, laying in their cribs or watching us. It was supposedly nap time, but I don't think the tv was ever turned off. I quickly counted 36 children in this room, with only a few empty cribs.

One of our guides had warned us about not letting the nannies hold Margot, so we decided that Chris should have her in the baby carrier the entire time. I figured they wouldn't mess with him and try and get her away from him. One of the nannies did however ask if they could give her some tea and we decided that would be all right, but it did require them holding her. We didn't now know it would be a whole production with them spooning it down her throat. 

 She got upset, but bounced back pretty quickly and never really seemed to upset to be there or to leave – the tea however helped with her constipation problems! 

Hopefully the reason Margot wasn't scared of Chris.  The director is a guy with glasses!

 We briefly met the director of the orphanage, I believe Mr. Tam was his name but he was sick and had lost his voice. We really didn't chat much with nannies other than to give them the cans of formula we brought as a donation. While we were there a Chinese couple came in and we found out that they were there for a domestic adoption. I had heard that domestic adoption was up in China, but it was really great to see it firsthand. The nannies told us that all of the children on Margot's floor would be adopted out, which I hope to be true. As we were leaving we passed the 2^nd floor and saw an older girl of about 8 or 9 staring vacantly out of the window. She didn't even respond to us as we passed and it broke my heart to think of the older children there that might never find families. Honestly, I have such mixed feelings about the first 14 months of Margot's life there. On the one hand it seemed very small, old and rundown, on the other, the nannies seemed nice and generally happy to see Margot and care about her. One of them even told her “Mei Mei, you have new clothes!”

It's hard to gage exactly what the people of China know about adoption and abandoned children. One of the families in our group told us of a college student from China who is studying in the U.S. right now who told them “There are no orphanages in Beijing.” Well our guide informed us that there are 3 orphanages in Beijing, all with about 1000 children in them a piece. A lot of younger women seemed really interested in Margot and would smile at her and ask how old she was, but some of the older women would give us very stern and unhappy looks when they saw us with her. Our guide also told us that she thinks only about a third of the population of Guangzhou even know about foreign adoption, so that might explain it. To be continued...

The Road to Yangjiang

Sorry for the delay!  We made it home safely last Wednesday, but boy was that a painful trip.  Margot is really fighting the time change and making it difficult for either of us to get any sleep.  Chris went back to work this week, so I am on nighttime baby duty.  She was sleeping like a champ in China, so I hope we can get back to that soon!

In the meantime, here is a peek at the start of our journey to Margot's orphanage.  We went on Friday and it was a 6 hour round trip car ride.  Our guide went with us and we had to pay Mr. Li our driver $2000 Yuan to take us (a little more than $300).  The traffic in China is crazy - well let me rephrase that - the drivers are crazy in China.  It's not that they drive that fast, it's that they are constantly jockeying for the best lane to be in and will cut back and forth without even looking.  I don't know how there aren't more accidents, but we really only saw a few fender benders.  It drove Chris crazy, but reminded me of NYC taxi drivers and I kind of enjoyed it.  I thought for sure we were gonna hit a few cars though!

Someone's tired!

Saw a lot of these flowering plants on the side of the road.  Very tropical in this part of the country and even hotter than Guangzhou!

Entering Yangjiang.  It's considered a small city of only 3 million!

White Swan Photos

Oh yeah, this is what we did on Thursday!  We dropped of our laundry on Shamian Island.  Normally a lot of adopting families stay on the island at the White Swan Hotel.  Unfortunately the hotel is closed for remodeling, but the restaurants and lobby are still open.  All of the families that travel together usually get photos taken on one of the many red couches there.  Our guide Wenxi brought us and got a few photos before the rest of our travel group arrived in Guangzhou.  All of the families were adopting children from different provinces, so after touring Beijing we all went our separate ways.  Guangzhou is the capital of Guangdong Province which is the province our girl is from so we got to come here before everyone else.  Guangzhou is also where the US Consulate is, so all adopting families must come here to finalize paperwork.  

Cutest baby face ever!!!!!!

More Videos

Thursday we applied for Margot's passport.  I have no idea what else we did that day!  I know we got ready for Friday, which was our big trip to her orphanage.  

Day 2 with Margot Songmei

Coming back from our 2nd visit to the Civil Affairs Office.  We had a family photo taken with many tears since we had to pull her thumb out of her mouth for it!  After that, 2 short interviews asking why we wanted to adopt her and promising to never abuse and abandon her.  

It's hard to imagine why anyone could have ever abandoned her.  The Chinese families that you see here with their children clearly love and adore them.  It breaks my heart to think of the parents that were probably forced make the decision to abandon her.  I already love her so much, I can't imagine what they must have gone through. 

 

Watching soccer later on in the hotel room brought out the first real glimpse of her personality.  Watch her open her mouth really wide, she loves to do that in front of mirrors!  When she gets overwhelmed she stares intently at her fingers or her toes and crosses them in unusual ways.  

More Gotcha Day!

Here are few more pics from Gotcha Day.  I don't know where the time goes in China, but I've had the worst time trying to keep up with the blog.  We have had appointments everyday and have usually been in bed by 9pm and up by 6am or 7am!  These photos don't do justice to the cuteness that is Margot.  Obviously, she is a thumb sucker but she also has this thing where she likes to touch fabric.  If you know me, you know that she is supposed to be my kid!  Unfortunately she doesn't like the bathtub yet, but I will be working on that one!  She is slowly opening up to us, but still has a way to go.  She doesn't cry as much but is still very quiet and likes to sleep a lot.  We can't wait to get her home!

2nd attempt at videos!

Let there be video!

Finally had a chance to post some videos to our new youtube channel.  Hopefully this link will work!

http://www.youtube.com/my_videos?feature=mhee

This is the only photo we got of her and one of her nannies.  They brought her out so quickly, we weren't prepared!  This is before all the crying began!  You can kind of see her tongue, she loves to do silly stuff with it, like stick it out at herself in the mirror.

I know, I know...

You've all been waiting for a new post...  Margot is doing so well, but has also been grieving so hard.
We went into this knowing that it could be a difficult adjustment period for her, but it's still hard to see it happen.  We got to the Civil Affairs Office before any of the other 7 or so families that were getting their children yesterday.  There is a room off to the side where all of the children wait with their nannies and I saw a girl in there but it was too far away to tell if it was SongMei.  Our guide Wenxi told us that our girl was still on her way, so we went and sat down, but I could still hear the girl in the other room cry every so often.  We found out a couple of minutes later that our girl was indeed already there and they brought her out shortly after that.  She pretty much cried (and screamed) the first 10-15 minutes I held her and I knew that all of the other families were thinking "thank god, that's not our kid!"  Chris and the nannies had to go into the other room to attend to the business side of things and I got to find out right away what sort of self soothing behaviors our kid favors.  I held her on my lap and rocked along with her and watched her stare at her fingers as she likes to cross them over each other.  We really didn't get a chance to talk to the nannies much, but are planning on visiting the orphanage on Friday.

Here's another sleepy photo, will post more asap!

It's Only Words.

Believe it or not we actually got a good night of sleep and had a nice long breakfast at the buffet.  We have more than an hour to kill before we meet our new guide Wenxi.  At every step of this journey we've wondered when it would feel real to us and there have definitely been moments, but no one defining one.  I guess it will be when we see her face for the first time?!?

We have been slowly packing up the things we need for our appointment. The backpack (thanks Mary Jane!) is ready to go with diapers, treats, a bottle, sippy cup and a few toys. We also have our red bags filled with gifts for the orphanage director and nannies ready to go. We will meet Wenxi at 1pm to exchange our money for the orphanage donation, announcement fee, registration, passport and notary fees. From there we will head to the Civil Affairs Office to meet our girl at 2:30pm. I have seen photos of this office so many times on other people's blogs and in movies that I know it will be exciting to finally be there in person. Chris is doing really good at staying calm and I am okay and trying not to be too nervous. If it weren't so hot, I would have liked to take a walk after breakfast. Instead we are just trying to stay cool in our room and quietly prepare! We will try to post more asap!

Raise The Red Lantern - Beijing

Our Beijing Neighborhood

Our neighborhood grocery store, no photos allowed inside!

Our first Chinese Restaurant, unfortunately kind of average.  This place was chosen by our guide for the menu with easy to order pictures!  Our waitress spoke no English and didn't understand Diet Coke.  We learned today to say Wu Tang, which means Sugar Free.  I wonder if the Wu Tang Clan know about that...?

Cool, little store-front that we walked past many times.

So many more photos to edit!

The View From Our Room

Finally Photos!

Sorry, it has taken so long to get something up here!  We have been so busy with our tour group and trying to get lots of sleep.  The building is our hotel the Chang 'An Grand Hotel with it's super sparkly chandelier in the lobby.  Also, a shot of Chris enjoying the spotty free wi-fi on the second floor.  We didn't pay to have it in our room here, but will in Guangzhou.  We leave tomorrow morning (Monday) for Guangdong Province and will get our girl on Tuesday.  So far the trip has been amazing!  At this point it's hard to believe that we are here for more important reasons than a vacation.  We got to spend the last 2 days with other Bethany adoptive families and tomorrow we will all go to our separate provinces for our children.  I can tell that some of them are really stressed out to be here and honestly I thought we would be as well, but so far we're not.  We are really enjoying China and are so happy that we have this time to experience more of our girls culture before meeting her.  Will try to post more asap!

We're Here!

We arrived in China, safely, after starting our journey 31 hours before. Oi.

To say the flights were painful would be an understatement. Of course it didn't help that we left the house at 6am on Thursday and you all know how well I do mornings. Chris fared a little better than I did but was pretty exhausted as well. Luckily all of our flights were on time and no major turbulence. The 6 hour layover in Detroit was boring and the 12 hour flight from Detroit to Tokyo was kind of a killer. I was so tired, I just tried to sleep the whole way. I never even cracked a magazine or book, which for me is a shocker! The Tokyo flight was huge with 10 seats across the aisles. We were seated next to an older Chinese couple who didn't know much English. When we were served our dinner, I watched as they tried to figure out what the different condiments went to. I pointed at each and then pointed at the different food items and got my first thank you in Chinese! Later on Chris went and got some water for them and they were thankful then as well. We had a 3 hour layover in Tokyo and then on to Beijing. Luckily we had a window seat and an aisle to ourselves, but we circled Beijing for a while and also had to sit on the runway waiting to get to a terminal. We were met at the airport by our guide “Joy” who will be showing us the sites in Beijing on Saturday and Sunday. The 1am ride from the airport to the hotel reminded me of driving down the BQE from La Guardia airport to Manhattan. Having our driver not speak English completed my nostalgic memories of New York a bit as well!

Today is Friday and a free day for us (thankfully!). We got to sleep in a bit, hit the breakfast buffet and chat some more with Joy. We found out that the other families coming in all arrive today. We are so glad that we have today to just hang out before all of the touring begins. We walked to a grocery store and then took a long walk around the block. I have already had children comment on my hair and we have been stared at a lot! I feel so exotic! Part of the time I was carrying my Nikon with me and Chris started to worry that something would happen so we took it back to the room. I'm hoping to get some nicer photos later today when the light is a bit better and maybe the foot traffic slows down. Will try to post some photos later, we are off to dinner at a nearby restaurant that Joy recommended for us.